Hello everybody, welcome back to Millionaire Visionaire! We are now on day 11 of the challenge, the days have been passing by so quick. Today, I am gonna touch a bit about hope. And hopefully be able to make up for the short articles the past few days.
Hope is a huge driving factor for most of us actually, it actually means that in our minds we are optimistic about the outcome. With just a bit of hope we would cling on to something for so long, and its effect works on everything really. The thing about hope is it is like a double edged sword. It could be a good thing or it could just wreck us.
The good thing about it
What I feel is good about having hope, is it drives us to not give up on what we are working on. We become so optimistic that we keep trying, and sometimes things “make it” just because we never gave up. Through optimism we would try all ways till it worked eventually. It is basically, “I am going to use the method A and it will work” and it fails and we tell ourselves then, “Ah ha! I am going to use method B this time and it will work!” and we keep going till we make it.
The “flaw” about hope
The other side of hope however, is that we don’t know when to stop. It is something that would sometimes hinder us from asking for help. It blinds us from our limitations. Yes, we are stronger than we think, but we still have limits to our capabilities at the end of the day. We need to know our capabilities, we need to know when to ask for help. But that is something which hope sometimes blind us to.
Examples from my life
Let me give you two examples about myself about “hope” which didn’t work well. Obviously one has got to be a relationship, but we will start with health.
During one of my projects many years back, I somehow pulled a muscle on my neck and got a stiff neck. I had gotten a stiff neck before, it is pretty common for me cause of my work really. So I though “ah, this stiff neck will be gone after a few days”. The “few days” started going into weeks, and each time I told myself “it’s been there for awhile, it would be gone soon”. This “soon” happened a year later. Yes, one whole year of a stiff neck just because I had hoped it would be gone in a few days each time. After a year, I told myself this is long enough I needed to get help. Went for some Traditional Chinese Medicine with the acupuncture and loads of neck and shoulder massages just to get it settled. The stiff neck only got settled in “a few days” after deciding to go for treatment.
Another one of my examples, is a relationship I had. I had clung on to the hope of getting back with her, cause I never saw it as “We are done. We will never get back together.” I just clung on the the hope of “maybe the last time we were together was just not the right time, maybe in a year things would change. Cause she was still studying in university then, so I thought maybe after the studies we could try and work it out again. After so many months of clinging on to that hope. I finally got the “closure” I had been seeking. And that was it was going to be pretty much “impossible” for us to get back together. Why is used “closure”, is because when a relationship ends that is pretty much closure of the relationship. It is just that we cannot accept it, we usually would have “closure” when the reasons for the break up becomes “acceptable”. For those who are interested in the details of what happened, basically her parents didn’t accept me cause I was “uneducated”. They never met me or spoke to me to try understand who I was as a person. They took what they saw on my social media, and judged me base on what ever I put online. Social media is basically lifestyle branding, which I would cover another day. So yeah, they were so against me really. Till the only “point” they had against me was that I was shorter than her (She was like a head taller than me). I only found out after many months, when I finally got the “closure” of mine, that what made her decide that this relationship wasn’t working was due to the pressure she was getting from her family. She had been keeping it all inside cause she didn’t want to worry me and get me involved (sweet ain’t she?). But it was just too much for her to handle, I don’t blame her for that though. I honestly felt it wasn’t fair to her though, cause she had to put up with the pressure because of me while for me my family has been ever so supportive (you guys should know that by now). So yeah that’s pretty much what actually happened, or so I decide to believe. Those many months of clinging on to that hope of getting back together was actually very destructive for me. It affected my whole life, work and personal. When I got the “closure” and accepted it, I managed to let go of that hope. And I felt so relieve after that, the weight just lifted off my shoulders. I am so grateful to her for that, I got over it now and we are still friends. But I know my boundaries for our friendship.
I would like to part with this: Always have a little hope, but know your limitations and capabilities. Hope bring you a long way, but it could also destroy you like how it did to me.
See you all again tomorrow, and thank you all once again for following me on this journey,