Hey everyone, so I think I actually made in it time for day 7 of the challenge. I have been reached out by a few of you, and I just want you to know I truly appreciate it. It really give me more motivation to carry on. Today I am gonna write a little on asking for help.
There are times when we are unwilling to ask for help from others, even when we ourselves know we could use that help. There are even times when it is obvious that we need help and yet when people offer help to us, we would turn it down. For me personally it has happened many times before. There are a few reasons which we might not want to ask for help, or turn down the help offered to us.
Reasons we may not be open to help offered
For me personally, these are a few of the reason which I do not ask for help or I turn down help.
Sometimes we feel that if we were to ask or accept help from others, we would be in debt to them. I don’t mean it in a “gratitude” kind of feeling in debt to them. But it is more of myself thinking that they are gonna expect something from me. For me, I would honestly be grateful and would try and find a way in order to compensate them for their help rendered, it they never asked for anything in return from the start. However when I approach a friend and ask for help and they asked what was in it for them, I would decided that I wouldn’t want their help anymore. Although honestly, I do admit it would be only fair that I could give them something in return for their efforts.
Another reason which is something I mentioned as an example in my last article Expressing our Gratitude, is that I feel they lack empathy. (I will cover an article about empathy another day.) What I meant by that, is that I feel that they would not understand what I was going through. And I would end up feeling more pressured instead of “relieved”. Because they do not understand, I would have to explain and go through all the “stress” again. I would instead choose to just avoid asking for help in these kinds of situation.
And another reason, is that I feel it would trouble them or they would turn down my request for help. Why I grouped these two reasons together, is because for me it would usually happen when I am deciding to ask for help.
We should just ask for help if we are unsure or not to ask for help. As I personally feel that if we do not try to ask, it would be a definite “negative”. If we do not try to approach other for help, we wouldn’t really know if they were busy, or if they were actually willing to help.
By not trying to ask in the first place, we ourselves have chosen that “definite negative” response. If we do try to ask, there is a 50/50 chance of us getting a positive response.
For example, if I wanted to let say borrow a friend’s car. If I do not ask, I would definitely not be able to borrow it. If I do ask and he agrees to lend me his car, that would be great. However if he decided to say no, I don’t really lose anything do I? Like I had expected him to give a “negative” response in the first place. So don’t limit yourself, just go ahead and ask for help if you are doubting the response. You were expecting it to be negative in the first place you got nothing to lose really, in fact you might just be surprised by how helpful your friends may be.
There is no shame
We have got to understand that there is not shame in asking for help from others. It doesn’t bring the value of ourselves lower, but actually increases your value. It increases your value when you understand your flaws and weaknesses, because you are able to identify your weak points. Just because you never say you are weak, doesn’t mean you aren’t.
I am gonna use myself as an example again, as you know I work as a marine engineer. For those who have never met me, you need to understand that I have a kid’s physique. I am only at 160cm, and I am not one with a “shredded” body and all. So in this industry due to my size, there are many equipment with parts with are really heavy. Do you think it would be wise for me to say I was able to handle moving some heavy stuff around, and it the end spend a whole day trying to figure out how to do it and waste so much time. Or do you think it would be better if I had acknowledged my weakness from the start and asked for help from others, and in doing so save up so much of everyone else’s time.
Based on that example of mine, how do you think our value would actually change. It would most likely increase our value. When we know our weak points and accept it, we are able to find way to either make up for them, or improve on them. And that is what I feel is more important
Don’t give up
After all I have written, I feel that I should say this though. Don’t just give up, and ask for help for everything. I am not saying just because you think you can’t do something, you decide to give up and ask for help. It is important that we know when we really are unable to do something. Try completing whatever you may be doing. We are actually more capable than who we think we are, so push yourselves to be better than who you were before.
Thank you for joining me again today, and for the continuous support I have been getting from all of you. If you would like to reach out to me, just drop me an email at Gideon@millionairevisionaire.com. See you all again.
Sincerely and gratefully,