Hello everyone, and welcome back to day 6 of the challenge. A little update on the challenge so far . It is going good actually, I am kinda learning to plan my time at the end of the day a little better. Just to put aside some time to write up articles. It has been really motivating to know that I have quite a number of friends who have been following me on this challenge. I am truly grateful for all these support, even if you think it is just a small effort. The impact it has on me is big. I am still learning along the way on how I should format the articles, and hopefully make the article way easier to read for all of you.
Today I am going to be writing about expressing our gratitude, or maybe ourselves better.
Many times, people like myself, fail to express our gratitude or level of appreciation towards others. We think that people can somehow read our minds, and understand how thankful or grateful we are feeling inside. But the thing is, people are not able to read our minds. Unless they have been observing us for awhile and understand our behaviour.
We may fail to show our emotions.
I shall use myself as an example. I feel that I do not express my emotions well enough towards others. I like to hide my negative emotions, especially to people I may not know very well. The reason that I do so, is because I feel that my negative emotions should not affect others. I may be feeling sad or broken, but I do not wish to project that negative emotions to others. Another reason that I choose to hide my negative emotions, is also because I personally feel that others will not know how to deal or respond to it.
For example, this is something that I had experienced many years back. I was running a company of my own, and it was in a really bad situation. I did not know or understand many important aspects of running a business. Basically, I am not one who is good at sales. Or rather that is what I feel, I don’t really know if I am considered good in sales. Yes, the whole Understanding Your Value perspective.
I felt that I so drained from trying to run this business, as I did not have any idea at that time on how I could improve it. So it was just watching a company sink, and stress out without really taking any actions on it. Today isn’t about “taking actions”, that will be for another day. So anyway, when I shared with my partner then about how I was feeling. My purpose was to just let it out, and hopefully feel better. But what came after was more of what I would call “an interrogation”. Like “Why is the company like that?”, “So what can you do?”, “how now?”, etc.. These didn’t really help me much, and actually gave me the pressure that I wasn’t able to handle. After that incident, I started to close myself up even more. And I would share less about myself even to my partner then. (Yeah I ruined the relationship because of that, and it was definitely my fault I admit.)
Through hiding my negative emotions, it sort of made me express myself less even for positive emotions as well. I feel this happened because in my mind, I know that I suppress my expression of emotions. So if I do not show my negative emotions, when I do show a positive emotion, it would be a big thing. But I feel from an outer perspective, you would not see that. This may result in the impression that I am not appreciative of the help extended to me.
Work on expressing yourself better
I am working on myself, to express myself a little better. Like for example, in my opening for this article I thank you all for following me on this journey and for being supportive in this hopefully not just another 5 Minutes Interest. I decided to use more words or different words from the usual thank you. I am more conscious about the way I use my words in conversations now. And I try to use words which I hope others would better relate to what I am actually feeling.
Try to imagine and compare between the next few examples, and see if you can relate to it. How would you feel if people responded in these ways for the 2 “scenarios”.
Expressing an Apology
Person A: I am sorry
Person B: I am truly sorry
Person A: Thanks (Very common response these days)
Person B: Thank you very much
Just this few additional words would actually make a difference don’t you think so?
And for me this is what I am working on myself as well, to hopefully be able to express myself better. That way I am able to let YOU, as well as others who I converse with, know that I am really grateful.
The ability to make one feel appreciated, goes a long way
To end off today’s article, I would like to share with you a quote. I am not too sure who was the one who said it, but it goes like this.
“A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected”
And it is very true. I am have seen it happen to others, and also realise it happens to me. When we feel appreciated, we would happily give more. However, appreciation comes in many forms and it isn’t the same for everyone. For example, your gratitude might be enough to make me feel appreciated. But if you put it in a “work” scenario, it might take a pay raise or a huge bonus to make someone feel appreciated there.
Thank you for joining me again today, I hope to see you again tomorrow. (Actually, I am only able see the stats on the viewership of the articles and site. But thank you really!)